Live within your story...

Nothing like waking up one morning and realizing that half of what you have decorated your home with just isn't you anymore. Was it ever ? Was I going with the crowd? What was popular or trending? Was I trying to fit into the home and environment we lived in at the time? Or am I finally figuring out what makes me "me"? How easy it is to forget how far God has brought me and my family. He we are in a wonderful city , in a wonderful state, in a wonderful community, and in a wonderful home. The fact that I was even minutely upset really got to me and I had to sit back and reassess my attitude and the whole situation. It is uniquely human nature to move forward in our lives, as we strive for more, to forget where we once were. Our very first apartment was in San Diego. My husband was in school in the navy. I was fresh, and I mean fresh, out of high school. My husband already had debt and I had not a clue what to do with finances. Our apartment was so bare bones that we didn't even own a couch or dining room table. All I had was my bedroom furniture from home. We used big moving boxes draped with fabric for tables. How funny looking back at that time. I didn't even care. We were always out at the beach or driving around the vineyards of California. We were just too young and carefree to really care. Then we got pregnant, fairly quickly I might add, and new orders to move back to Virginia. So we said goodbye to that little place and started our new family adventure all the way on the other side of the country. We rented a 2 bedroom duplex and the "nesting" began. Slip covers on moms old love seat hand me down, wallpaper borders and sponge painted walls,  vain attempts of various crafting ideas, and a gazillion trips to thrift stores and garage sales. Then my husband had the bright idea that we should move to his hometown for a spell. Fast forward2 years after living there and I found myself having a garage sale, in his mothers driveway, only able to keep my personal items and photos, because we just couldn't make it there. I gave away everything. It was one of the hardest and best lessons I had ever learned. Things are replaceable but memories and people are not. We started all over again back in Virginia. I cleaned house for a woman dying of cancer who lived in absolute filth and bought new "used furniture" and found a little home to rent. I poured my heart into that house. Fixing up the bathroom and kitchen, painting every square inch of every wall, and creating a "home" for my ever growing family. Then the opportunity to buy our first home happened. And it was a fixer uppers dream. The really awful house, with really awesome potential, in the really good neighborhood that you didn't think you could really afford. Oh but if we only knew what we had gotten ourselves into. 12 years of our lives were absorbed into that home. Everything, and I mean everything, had to be replaced , re-figured, reworked, refit, restructured, etc. We learned so much during that time. We grew in ways I never imagined we could. And through it all I was never truly happy there. Nor were my kids or my husband. But when the time was right and our thoughts and attitudes were right the opportunities opened up. And now I find myself once again in a new house. Ready to take it head on and make it a "home". So what if nothing is exactly right, so what if I have finally figured out what works best for me and have to start from scratch, so what if there's a long list of to-dos. When am I going to realize that this is all part of the journey. This is part of growing. This is all part of the fun. This is where all the new memories are made in this chapter. God sees my desire to make beautiful spaces and has gifted me with a whole new project. One that will fill days, weeks, months, and years. So its not all about 3 day renovations on steroids. It a process. A joy. A delight. A journey. An adventure. If I just change my heart and attitude and learn to live within the story.